6 months..

It has been a while.

I could say that I was too busy to write, and couldn't find the time to sit down and process life, but that would be a lie. The truth is that I didn't want to write. I did not want to pause and think about life in all its glories and miseries. Last semester was difficult, to say the least. And, the more people I talk to, the more I realize that the feeling is pretty universal. Last semester sucked. (Not the most eloquent locution, but an accurate one.) However, I realized, rather late into the semester unfortunately, that the problem wasn't the course of the semester and the life events that composed it, but rather how I faced up to what presented itself to me. I did not do well on that particular test. But I did learn from it. I learned more of the character of the God who loves me. I rediscovered some of the greatest blessings in my life. I better learned how to listen, how not to speak. I learned a bit about myself. But overall, and perhaps paradoxically, I became certain that I know nothing, except that God is real, and that He is good, and that He loves me. Outside of that, nothing I claim as knowledge is perfectly and irrefutably founded in truth, and is subject to change.

It's a good place to be, this place of unknowing. It's freeing. It is also extremely interesting and captivating to reevaluate concepts that I have always held as "truth" in order to verify their validity, or to realize their falsehood. It's humbling, this denial of human and natural arrogance, and also rather difficult for a person such as me, imperfect and broken as I am. But it is a springboard, and a wonderful way to start a new year.

So I’m back. Or, at least, I intend to be back. I enjoy writing and processing thoughts; it is good for me. However, this semester, it actually will be hard to find the time.


Peace & love,
Megs

How deep the Father's love for us..

Who has believed our message and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?

He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.

He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted.

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.

We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a she before her shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.

By oppression and judgement he was taken away. And who can speak of his descendants? For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people he was stricken.

He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death, though he had done no violence, nor was any deceit in his mouth.

Yet it was the LORD's will to crush him and cause him to suffer, and though the LORD makes his life a guilt offering, he will see his offspring and prolong his days, and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.

After the suffering of his soul, he will see the light of life and be satisfied; by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many, and he will bear their iniquities.

Therefore I will give him a portion among the great, and he will divide the spoils with the strong, because he pour out his life unto death, and was numbered with the transgressors.

For he bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.

Isaiah 53

I needed this today. I needed to remember His deep love and the cost of His sacrifice. He carries me, always. Why I forget and fall into striving and laboring on my own strength, I do not know. But I know that I am His, set apart for His will and glory. Everything else pales in comparison when reminded of this. I belong to the King.

Where Joy is Found

It's been a while. Lack of a computer and lack of free time restricts this whole blogging thing. Fortunately, after a few hours and many restarts and a bit of frustration, it seems as though my laptop is repaired, for now.

I am currently at my parents' house in Howell. I decided a while ago that, for Father's Day and my cousin's grad party, I would take a week off of work and come back to Michigan, perhaps travel a bit, and visit people. However, a shortage of gas in the tank and money in the bank has restricted traveling and visiting. Still, it has been a beautiful few days. Valuable time has been spent with various family members. I have been able to do things that I love, like archery, reading, playing piano, playing volleyball, driving down dirt roads, blaring country music, spending time in the sun, baking, etc. I have cuddled with my dogs, and met my youngest cousin for the first time. I have rested, even slept! The environment has been peaceful, and the sounds of terrified screaming and hydraulic hisses have been absent. Tomorrow I have plans to go horseback riding with my grandma and to visit my old choir director & mentor. Later in the week, fishing, visiting a good friend and roommate, and maybe even Tigers' Baseball are on the schedule. This is who I am. These are the things that I love and that settle my heart and mind.

And yet, something is missing.

I've loved these past few days, and relish the thought of the next few. But, for the past few weeks, working at Cedar Point and with MttP, I have been living in a state of constant joy that I cannot find anywhere else. Not in traveling (which I love), not on dirt roads or in shooting my bow; not in anything that would normally define me. The difference between here and there, then and now is this: God's will for me for this summer is to be at Cedar Point, to be bringing Him glory in everyday work and to share His gospel by the way that I live, and to learn His voice and His face better with every passing moment. This small "vacation" is a blessing, and is bringing me much restoration and renewal; it is good and needed. CP and MttP are trying and draining. But it's is where I have been called.

This summer has already been and will continue to be a trying and a stretching of my mind, soul, spirit, and strength. I don't like crowds or excessive noise. I enjoy trees and grass, and restful times with wonderful people. Cedar Point's environment is far beyond my comfort zone. Noise, new people, constant unrest. I like the deep woods and sleeping under the stars, not concrete and metal. But it is there, in that unlikey place, that I have come to a full realization of just how much joy can be found in serving the Lord. That is not to say that these past weeks have been void of troubles and struggles; the devil is definitely been trying his best to get at the team and at me. There has been dissention in the group, and battles with temptations of a subtle nature, and of a loud one. I have been missing people terribly, and have been divided in my desire to be elsewhere. Work is hard and hours are long. We are robbed of sleep by sweltering heat without relief. Frustration is ever-present. I have even doubted whether or not I should be here, and my value as a missionary. But God has been revealing Himself in each and every situation, and assuring me of His call. I have not been able to shake the sense of peace and joy that I have had as of late.

Psalm 16:11 says:

"You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.."

At Cedar Point, I have found again that I have 2 choices: abide in God, or fall flat trying to survive on my own strength. And in abiding in God and t sacrificing my own desires, I have found so much inexplicable joy. Furthermore, I have seen such an increase in "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control" in my life, in interactions with people, and my view of circumstances that it can only be the work of the Spirit, because it certainly is nothing of my own power or working. At His feet is truly the best place to dwell. There I have found healing and comfort and purpose. There I continually find strength and love and the ability to love unconditionally. Daily I learn how to "pick up my cross." It is not easy, but it brings pure and unshakable joy. He has placed in me a hunger for the Word and for prayer that exceeds anything I have previously felt. God is good. And He knows my heart.

So ends my rambling.

Prayer Requests:

~Protection from Satan's schemes
~Unity within our group
~Compassion and the ability to love without reservation

Thanks for reading!
With love, in Him,
Megan

Sharpen your sword!

My 3G definitely isn't working, the library is closed today, and I have about 20 more minutes on my friend's laptop. Therefore, this will be short and sweet. :)

"... do not forget the culture of the inner man- I mean of the heart. How diligently the calvary officer keeps his sabre clean and sharp; every stain he rubs off with the greatest care. Remember you are God's sword His instrument- I trust, a chosen vessel unto Him to bear His name. In great measure, according to the purity and perfection of the instrument, will be the success. It is not great talents God blesses so much as likeness to Jesus. A holy minister is an awful weapon in the hand of God." (C.H. Spurgeon, Lectures to my Students, quoting M'Cheyne)

This passage sums up what I have been learning in the course of training to be a missionary this summer. How important is it that we, as God's chosen and adopted children, learn His voice and His will! Whether that is through prayer, worship, service, or His Word, it is essential that we give ourselves to be sharpened. This summer, I desire to see others draw close to God, but I also wish to better learn His Name and His will. This takes discipline, which up to this point I have been lacking. Training week was a spiritual boot camp- it was impossible to process the amount of information that was given in such a short time, but how amazing it is to be challenged to growth!

Topic switch! We had our first lifegroup Tuesday night. Our group is composed of 2 MttP guys, 1 MttP girl, my coleader Luke, and myself. We met in a lounge in the Cedars men's dorm complex, where many employees rest after work. Our study focus for this summer is the book of John, and specifically the prevalence of Christ as the Light and the life, as described in chapter 1 verses 4&5. It was amazing to see the power of the Word of God at work; people were drawn like moths to a flame! 3 people joined us in study and prayer, and it was wonderful! God has already been revealing His plan for this summer throughout these first few days, and it is humbling to see, feel, and be a part of His moving.

That's all for now; time to surrender the laptop :)

Prayer Requests:
~Endurance for all of us: Many people are already working open to close shifts, and with additional intentional time for ministry opportunities, many people are already wearing down.
~The 3 people who showed up to Lifegroup: that they would recognize the working of God in their lives and cling to Him
~Protection against temptation for the team: it is very present, but Christ is conqueror of all!
~Building and maintaining relationships here and back at our respective homes.

Thank you so much for reading & praying! Let me know if you have any requests of your own!

With much love,
Megan

~~Let us not be so proud and arrogant to believe that we are bringing God anywhere; He has been there and working already (B. Andrews)~~

Rambling: So it begins

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.
~St. Francis of Assisi

St. Francis also impored Christians to "preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words." This is exactly what this summer is about for myself and my team. Living as St. Francis prayed -living selflessly- is radical, and the world cannot ignore it. It is a life lived beyond one's self; it is the life Jesus lived. No one is perfect, and therefore such a life must be sought after intentionally. But living in such a way shows others Christ, and glorifies Him.

I am still learning to preach the Gospel without using words. There are times when I am so overwhelmed by the realization of His love and sacrifice that I want to shout it from the rooftops, but there are other times when I am so wrapped up in myself and my own life that I lose sight of the beauty of grace. This summer I pray that I will continue to learn to live beyond myself: to put others first, to meet people where they are at, to forgive, to find joy always.

Colossians 3:1-4 says "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not earthly things. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you will also appear with him in glory." Each day this summer, my teammates and I will die to self and set our minds on things above in order to see Christ glorified and to spread His message.

Prayer requests:

• Protection against temptation


• Continuing strength: mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually


• That we each seek God's will in all situations

Thanks much!

Here goes nothing!

As I get ready to leave for yet another summer at Cedar Point, I remember the first summer that I worked with the ministry and how completely disconnected I was with the reality of CMU and my life here in Mount Pleasant. I was totally focused on the ministry and the work at hand- which is exactly as it should be. However, then I was a freshman with only one or two relationships of any depth. Now I am a senior-to-be with many founded and deep friendships with wonderful people. I do not want to see those fade, nor do I want to fall completely off the map. At the same time, I don't want to be distracted from the work that God has for me to do this summer. As such, and since I will be partially keeping a blog with the ministry, I think that a blog will be a good compromise. No guarantees that I will be completely faithful in keeping it, but we'll see!

In Him,
Megan