Where Joy is Found

It's been a while. Lack of a computer and lack of free time restricts this whole blogging thing. Fortunately, after a few hours and many restarts and a bit of frustration, it seems as though my laptop is repaired, for now.

I am currently at my parents' house in Howell. I decided a while ago that, for Father's Day and my cousin's grad party, I would take a week off of work and come back to Michigan, perhaps travel a bit, and visit people. However, a shortage of gas in the tank and money in the bank has restricted traveling and visiting. Still, it has been a beautiful few days. Valuable time has been spent with various family members. I have been able to do things that I love, like archery, reading, playing piano, playing volleyball, driving down dirt roads, blaring country music, spending time in the sun, baking, etc. I have cuddled with my dogs, and met my youngest cousin for the first time. I have rested, even slept! The environment has been peaceful, and the sounds of terrified screaming and hydraulic hisses have been absent. Tomorrow I have plans to go horseback riding with my grandma and to visit my old choir director & mentor. Later in the week, fishing, visiting a good friend and roommate, and maybe even Tigers' Baseball are on the schedule. This is who I am. These are the things that I love and that settle my heart and mind.

And yet, something is missing.

I've loved these past few days, and relish the thought of the next few. But, for the past few weeks, working at Cedar Point and with MttP, I have been living in a state of constant joy that I cannot find anywhere else. Not in traveling (which I love), not on dirt roads or in shooting my bow; not in anything that would normally define me. The difference between here and there, then and now is this: God's will for me for this summer is to be at Cedar Point, to be bringing Him glory in everyday work and to share His gospel by the way that I live, and to learn His voice and His face better with every passing moment. This small "vacation" is a blessing, and is bringing me much restoration and renewal; it is good and needed. CP and MttP are trying and draining. But it's is where I have been called.

This summer has already been and will continue to be a trying and a stretching of my mind, soul, spirit, and strength. I don't like crowds or excessive noise. I enjoy trees and grass, and restful times with wonderful people. Cedar Point's environment is far beyond my comfort zone. Noise, new people, constant unrest. I like the deep woods and sleeping under the stars, not concrete and metal. But it is there, in that unlikey place, that I have come to a full realization of just how much joy can be found in serving the Lord. That is not to say that these past weeks have been void of troubles and struggles; the devil is definitely been trying his best to get at the team and at me. There has been dissention in the group, and battles with temptations of a subtle nature, and of a loud one. I have been missing people terribly, and have been divided in my desire to be elsewhere. Work is hard and hours are long. We are robbed of sleep by sweltering heat without relief. Frustration is ever-present. I have even doubted whether or not I should be here, and my value as a missionary. But God has been revealing Himself in each and every situation, and assuring me of His call. I have not been able to shake the sense of peace and joy that I have had as of late.

Psalm 16:11 says:

"You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.."

At Cedar Point, I have found again that I have 2 choices: abide in God, or fall flat trying to survive on my own strength. And in abiding in God and t sacrificing my own desires, I have found so much inexplicable joy. Furthermore, I have seen such an increase in "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control" in my life, in interactions with people, and my view of circumstances that it can only be the work of the Spirit, because it certainly is nothing of my own power or working. At His feet is truly the best place to dwell. There I have found healing and comfort and purpose. There I continually find strength and love and the ability to love unconditionally. Daily I learn how to "pick up my cross." It is not easy, but it brings pure and unshakable joy. He has placed in me a hunger for the Word and for prayer that exceeds anything I have previously felt. God is good. And He knows my heart.

So ends my rambling.

Prayer Requests:

~Protection from Satan's schemes
~Unity within our group
~Compassion and the ability to love without reservation

Thanks for reading!
With love, in Him,
Megan